Get off my lawn!

SON, I AM DISAPPOINT.

Well, more to the point, radio! I'm disappointed in you. Please see me after class.

It wasn't until I was listening to the local hips hops station that I realized how bad things had gotten. Birthday Sex still comes on the radio at least once an hour. And, have you heard this? Have you seen this?

Birthday Sex is an actual, honest to goodness, produced, legitimate, for-serious-reals version of "Dick in a Box." Seriously. Listen to the lyrics, and come back! I'll wait. This post will still be waiting for you, and the extra advertising impression is always a welcome guest in these halls!

Dick in a Box is satire, but is frustratingly close to reality! Every song is some Usher-sound-a-like singing about banging teh hoez. Well, not even hoez at this point! It's even worse than that. I wanna make love in this club!

Another fun game I like to play on teh hips hops station is "seconds until autotune." It's usually zero.

So, I'll just change the station! I'll listen to some award winning rock/alternative station, even though "alternative" means "every station ever" now.

Wow. Is that... is that Alice and Chains? On the hour, every hour? That is so two thousand and late. I mean, nineteen ninety late. I mean, 1986. Am I getting this right? The go-to station for new, relevant music is playing the top hits from (at least) fifteen years ago? Fifteen? Fifteen years ago? This is award-winning music relevant to this generation? And, was that seriously followed by Red Hot Chili Peppers?

Are you kidding me?